Life's too short to even care at all wo-ah-o

Okay, I don't know how to spell 'woah-ah-o'
But the title comes from a song called Cough Syrup by Young the Giant (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xF5uvXV93hw)
Darren Criss covered it and it's a good cover as well! (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JdfuhAoA_9M)
And no, it isn't about a someone addicted to Cough Syrup!
Which reminds me, in Health Education in primary school, the textbook had a cartoon or a drawing of this boy who hid under the table and under his umbrella (Yeah, totally not gonna get caught bro) drinking his cough syrup and he was licking the spoon HAHA.
Ok now that I think about it maybe there was something fishy going on.
As fishy as a fish on a leash

(Found on tumblr)

Anyhoo! I'm in a particularly good mood nowadays, holidays are here and though there are many stressful things such as council camp and journ camp coming up, I'm pretty happy.

This type of mood

Anyhoo I hope you'll continue reading cause well, whenever I blog hop it's not always interesting to read someone's life when they are happy. Ya know what I mean? They have to write really emotional stuff and make you feel all the feels before they get you reading. An example would be Blackology, which is a Twitter account made by this dude who lives in Singapore who has tons of problems and all the girls tell him that he is telling them exactly how they feel and everything. It's quite touching really (not). He's like their saviour. Anyway yes he has a blog as well that writes all these feelings. So this isn't one of those blog posts, but I'll attempt to update on my life thus far!

Birthday
It was quite the lovely day actually
I mean I wasn't expecting so much but there was
A) Cake, which no one has ever bought for me b4.

All the feels.

B) A lovely gift from Claire which made me tear (More on that later)


C) Just the company of friends who constantly amaze me that I even have them and they love me the same

Friends who don't mind if I walk around my house in PJs and wet hair


Can you call us a clique? My 'clique' of friends who are absolutely lovely :3


Qt junior Kristine and Evan in the background. Yes, I'm thankful for Evan too. He wished me and was pretty nice about it! Also, asian eyes alert!


ew. Just kidding, love these two <3 p="p">
D) Leonard sir and Chanel Ma'am



The day was so perfect with them, from Thai Express to Ice kating to Ben and Jerry's at Dempsey.
Constantly feel loved around them.
Second parents? Sort of.

E) Sogurt

No birthday can be complete without Sogurt. Yes? yes? YES.


Love sogurt.
and you also lah Claire.
Her (your) gift totally blew my mind and I was pretty much bawling at night to myself when I watched the youtube videos. Love Claire so much :')

F) Church!
My lovely cell members got me a cake and a big HAPPY BIRTHDAY balloon! When I was sec 1 whenever the Sec 4s did that for their friends I always thought, "maybe one day someone will get that for me" AND SOMEONE DID. #cheapthrills
They made me tie it to my bag and everything. #livinthedream

Overall, it was a lovely birthday. Constantly blessed by people who love me :)

Results 
Exams came and go, with serious anxiety in between and self doubt.
It all worked out and all the hard work really did pay off I guess!
#smugmoment Everyone was complaining about their results on Twitter but I was really happy!
Of course I didn't post anything like "ALL YOU SUCKERS DESERVED IT BOOYAAHH" or anything.
I would be beaten up.
But yes, results were good and I was thankful.
Totally a moment to use this GIF:


Just have to work towards O levels now I guess.
Can't be complacent. :S

Red Cross Bazaar 
So what's the perfect way to spend your time after exams?
Volunteering! :D
It was a very epic event, with food EVERYWHERE and nice foreign people everywhere.
Do you think it's weird that the thing that excited us most was not the food, BUT THE SHIRT?
We have been waiting so long to finally be Red Cross volunteers.
Imagine our spazzing.

We were very excited.

Other highlights include pissing the French Ambassador off and then taking a photo of her flag just to make her mad


Getting temporary tattoos:


Americans are ridiculously nice. We definitely need more of them in Singapore.


Overall a good good day. By far the best CIP so far. And i've been to A LOT.

Other unrelated nonsense 
Which I'm sure you're excited about!
I've decided on my new planner for 2013! After an hour of deliberating online between 3 choices, I've decided! (Yes this is what I do in my free time) 



Jie owns the 2011/2012 ones and they are adorable and after much thinking so I've decided! #girlyproblems

I've also decided my new pencil case!



!! Isn't it lovely? I've seen it in real life and it CAN fit my pencils and stuff and it can also work as a clutch to keep my phone etc.
Such excitement.

Also today I spent my time looking up models. Do you know how beautiful they are.
A) Karlie Kloss


Basically she's the real life tumblr girl we never were.
And she's really cute too! Watched 1/2/3/4/5 interviews of her.
B) Behati Prinsloo


Pretty much. She's african as well!
Mean girls reference: If you're african, why are you white?
I don't know either, but she's beautiful!
C) Coco Rocha
Last one I promise, before your self esteem gets completely crushed.


She's not afraid to look ugly! I like.

Self esteem=ruined. Just kiddin,




Oh did I blog about Harry Potter?!?!! I think not!

HP Exhibition
It was good. Almost as good as 

Swagrid.
I mean it was a tadddd bit awkward at the start with Junyi Ma'am and GY sir seeing they were like totally glued together in the front with Alvina and I at the back but it was all good after lunch.
Lunch consisted of us discussing the use of polar bears and pandas (Junyi ma'am would eliminate polar bears from existence if she could cause she says they're useless but she adores pandas!) and clubbing and their first experiences.
Quite an eventful lunch.
Then we went for the exhibition, which was also lovely.

Cue the awkward smiles!
We also took some funny shots in front of the posters.

Classic.

Our favourite movie. Yeah Junyi ma'am, go and look perfect while we are fan girling over the poster.

Our Chocolate frogs!

Terrible beans make hilarious videos of us cringing while eating them.
Rotten egg was by far the worse. *shudder*

Yes. That's pretty much a sum up of my life thus far.
Hope you enjoyed the long post Claire! (I accept that you are my only reader, it's ok)
If you reached this far, BRAVO!


See y'all(you) soon!

growing tired

Well, exams are drawing near (8 days!)
Been studying more and more, which equals to less time spent at home, which equals to insensitive and unnecessary comments made by my mum.
It's getting very frustrating when all she can ask me if I am trying to 'prove' that I am 'hardworking' by coming home late, or that I am trying to 'hint' at something whenever I talk to her.
In her defence, she is probably flippant with her words, but it's really getting to me
To the point I don't even want to talk to her anymore.
Rlly mum, if you wonder why I don't talk to you, and you think I have an attitude problem,
think a little?!?!

In other unrelated news, SO EXCITED FOR SATURDAYYYYYYYYYY.
Leonard Sir and Chanel Ma'am, haven't seen them in sooo long and it's going to be a wonderful birthday :>

when you try your best but you don't succeed

Farewell is this Friday
All the planning comes to this friday
Pretty excited for all the fun stuff lined up and to see the juniors and seniors enjoying themselves.
Detesting the Handover though.

I've relatively gotten over it alrd, but it still hurts this part of me everytime I think about it.
I still get very upset and angsty over it sometimes, and I try my best to push it far far away from my mind
But sometimes, you can't help but just get disappointed/sad/angry/frustrated/self-loathing once again
Maybe tonight is one of those nights again.

Happy farewell.

typed a long post but to sum it up,

I only care about the glory and I only want what I can't have cause I like to chase after things that everyone else is chasing after and I can't be satisfied.

Thanks mum.

keep your eyes open

Wow, can't believe the Sec 4s are stepping down and my batch is stepping up.
When I was sec 1 and sec 2, it always seemed like everything would go okay cause the sec 3s knew everything.
But now that's US!
Especially worried for JTC.
6 batches of seniors coming back to torture us?!
Nuuuu.

Another thing is Council.
I have to start figuring out who is in Social.
Me? Social Head?! :O
I only know 3 people in Social! :/
Nerve wrecking aaaahhhh

Losing myself

I feel like I'm losing myself
Who I am, what I hold dear, what my values are.
Who am I anymore?

Worst part is acting and lashing out at friends that I hold dear and constantly whining at them
One day they'll get tired of me.

Gracia snap out of it.

At least 3 people have asked me if I'm disappointed.
Would you like me to break down in front of you in order to show you how I feel about this whole thing?

I'm somebody that I used to know.

hush now

So. Today the posts were given out (somewhat).
Alvina is chair, keziah and charm are vice chair.
Not really sure how I feel about it.
At first it was like.. ._.
but now i'm more chilled i guess.

View point 1:
WTH why them and not me do I not put in the same amount if not more effort than them do I not deserve this less than them? Charmaine will just be a dictator and alvina a control freak while keziah the "i dont care" type.
View point 2:
YAY! So happy for them, Alvina has wanted the post of Chairperson since the start of this year and I'm really happy for her! So what if I didn't get it, its not about positions at all Gracia! It's about the impact you leave on your juniors (:

The 'right' attitude would be view point 2 right. But it's all a joke you see. Just a facade. No one really really doesn't care about positions and is just a happy lark. That's all bullocks. No matter how "I don't care about this!" you say, you really do care.

Do I want to sound like a whiny girl who doesn't get what she wants and just put in all that effort just to become Chairperson? No. Does it sound that way to me? Yes. This is bullocks.

Honestly, the disappointment cuts deep. I can't lie and say I'm okay with Alvina being chair and kez and charm being vice. It hurts. Am I in any way inferior to them? I hate this feeling that I have, that feeling of A) Disappointment B) Anger C) Inferiority D) Disgust with myself for even feeling this way and being so superficial.

That tiny part of my brain tells me "So what Gracia, suck it up" while the other part is screaming "be sad for once! Be depressed, be angry. Who gives a shit anyway! They don't like you anyway!"

Maybe for once I'll listen to the screaming voice I try to oppress whenever something bad happens.

I ain't even gonna lie. Unappreciated and forever inferior. That's life.